What do you do when your life is in ruins?

What do you do when your life is in ruins?

I remember well one of the worst days in my life.

I was crawling in the middle of the pitch black tunnel I found myself in after my divorce. I had seen some light at the end of the tunnel before, but not on that day. On that day it was all black.

I was dating a guy for a while but it turned out to be a disaster. I was convinced I was hopeless, faulty and should really give up all my hopes for a normal life, whatever that meant.

I remember myself laying on the kitchen floor, crying, thinking nothing good in life would ever happen to me. I wanted to die in that very moment.

But I didn’t. Misery is not fatal.

Instead, I wrote my life Manifesto.


For me the Manifesto was my proclamation. It was my truth

And episode of a total breakdown like the one above has never happened to me since. The Manifesto helped me tremendously to embrace my weaknesses. To accept life with all its hardship. And I guess to recognize I was just a human.

The words, written straight from my heart, released a huge amount of energy. And the energy created the world around me. For example, for many years I’d had this need to prove I was enough. Enough to be loved, respected, desirable, and so on. When writing the Manifesto, I comprehended I could endlessly chase a non-existing ideal, or to embrace all I was. And I decided ‘enough’ was there and then.

Writing the Manifesto calmed down the storm of fear and let me to move on with my life.

So if you going through a nightmare after your divorce, feeling insecure, somehow ‘not right’ and your self-esteem is down… you might at least consider creating your own Manifesto. It might be a significant step on your way to a better life.

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.jpg

But what is a Manifesto really?

Creating a Manifesto makes sense when our lives change. Old values are not valid anymore. New ones are being formed slowly, often unnoticed.

We know things are changing, but the changes are not named yet. Finding precise names for our core values brings them into existence. It makes us aware of them, and therefore–we come to respect them. By our own choice.

If we’re mindful during the process, there is bunch of energy released. The feeling of being in harmony with yourself brings great amounts of peace and reconciling.

So the Manifesto is an announcement, a proclamation, an appeal–regarding crucial things in your life. A solemn and ceremonial list of rules and values.

For whom do you write? The audience is tiny, yet the most important ever–yourself.

How to write your Manifesto:

These are YOUR rules, relating to YOUR life, chosen by YOU.

1. Which rules you write are up to you
Write as many or as few of them as you want–one, three, ten? What matters is what they mean to you.

2. It’s flexible
You can change and update the rules as you change, or your life does.
It’s not a life sentence. NOW is the only reference point.

3. Let it ripen
Let the Manifesto take as long as it needs to create itself; 3 months or 5 minutes is equally good.

4. Stay real
Write rules you’ve already started to follow (even if only in your mind) to avoid making an abstract ‘wish list’. It’s better to quit adding something than to get frustrated you’re not following your own rules.

5. Once again – You
Your manifesto is an announcement of the principles that are important for YOU; and you announce it to YOURSELF only. And then, it’s YOU who follows it.

When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.

My Manifesto

A beautiful day it was, when I wrote it. An important one. I wish you moments like this on your way to recovery as well!

My Manifesto:

  1. I am and that’s enough.
  2. My life is an adventure, a journey.
  3. I don’t need to make monumental things in life. I am happy living an ‘ordinary’ life. MY LIFE.
  4. What is important are the things inside me. I don’t need to prove anything.
  5. I can change my mind, be uncertain or not know.
  6. I can make mistakes and it’s okay.
  7. I create my rules in my life – according to what is good for me. I verify them on an ongoing basis.
  8. I don’t take life for granted. Nothing lasts forever. Life fluctuates.
  9. I trust in myself, in God and in common sense, which allows me to peacefully deal with most of the situations (‘it will be fine’ attitude).
  10. I know I can reach out for help whenever I need it. I can ask, receive and take things I need.

What are we without values, without rules we follow because we choose to follow them? What are we if we are not loyal to what we feel is right?

Empty shells, perhaps?

So what’s the one thing to do now?

Change your mindset for a happier one! Check here how to feel better!


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So… I am happily divorced! It was far from easy, even though I tried most of the self-help stuff on the planet. Now I want to share the coping strategies with others who are stuck in the pitch black tunnel. So you will know WHAT to do and WHY it will work. Check copeandlope.com Join. Cope. And lope. Into a better life.

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